Why I wanted to help your Mom and Dad

Dear Katie,

In less than a week you will see the world for the first time,feel the touch of your parents, and journey to the comfort and safety of your own home. I find myself wanting to write to you now, while I still feel your life inside of me. It is hard to put into words what I am feeling and what I'd like you to know about me. I guess a good place to start is at the beginning, and I why I wanted to help your mom and dad have a baby in the first place.

Before I had Ryan and Karen, I knew I wanted to have children. I wanted children born out of the love between my husband and I. I used to wonder what I would have done if I tried and tried, but was unable to have children. I'm sure I would feel a deep void in my life ...an emptiness which could not be filled. Fortunately for me, I was able to have children easily. Ryan and Karen have filled my life with joy and given me a feeling of fulfillment which goes beyond words.

When I heard about how hard your mom and dad had been trying to have a baby, and saw how sad and lonely they were that they couldn't, I knew I wanted to help them so they could experience the happiness that I have enjoyed with my own children. Even though pregnancy is not all fun and games, I enjoy being pregnant ...feeling a life grow inside of me.

Twice we tried and nothing happened. On the third try, you beat the odds! I'll never forget telling your mom, "So are you ready to be a mommy?" She couldn't believe it. I said, "I'm not kidding, we're pregnant!" Then she cried.

Ryan and Karen have handled my pregnancy with you well. Ryan couldn't wait to pick out a gift for you and always reminded me to play your musical bear to you everyday. Although he was excited about seeing you, he pointed out that he'll be happy when your born because then I can go in the Jacuzzi with him again. Karen loved to talk to you. She would see other pregnant women and say "I wonder whose baby that is?." I know you will always be special to her. Ray has been a wonderful husband through my aches, pains and mood swings. He never really understood why I wanted to be pregnant again, but he supported me all the way and is happy to be helping your mom and dad have a family.

Having you grow inside me has been a wonderful, amazing experience. Helping your parents bring a new life into the world has brought me much happiness and satisfaction. I want you to know that I have very special feelings towards you. Despite these feelings, there was never any doubt in my mind that you belonged to your parents. There will always be a special place for you in my heart. I will feel a loss when you go home, but I will also feel great knowing I've helped your parents have the child they've always wanted. I know you will be loved and cherished as much as any baby could possibly be. My only wish is that your life be a happy one - full of love and joy and fulfillment.

With Love, Joyce