Find out how to explain being a surrogate to your child

Congratulations on becoming a surrogate! You’re about to start an amazing journey that will allow you to form lasting and meaningful relationships as you make parenthood possible for someone else.

You know how magical it is to become a parent because you already have at least one child of your own as a surrogate. However, because you’re a parent, you’re likely wondering how to explain being a surrogate to your child. The Center for Surrogate Parenting team is here to help. Read on to find tips for answering your child’s questions about surrogacy.

How to explain being a surrogate to your child

Although you are the one who will be carrying the pregnancy, being a surrogate will affect every member of your family. That’s why you want to take time to talk to your child and answer their questions about surrogacy.

Here are some tips to help when you are talking to your child about being a surrogate.

• Keep it age-appropriate. How you explain your role as a surrogate will depend on your child’s age and level of understanding. You can keep your explanation as basic as babies need to grow in a woman’s tummy before they are born. Then, you can explain that you are going to grow a baby in your tummy to help a family who can’t do it on their own.
• Be positive and reassuring. Children can pick up on your emotions, so if you’re excited, they’ll likely feel the same way. Also, take time to reassure your child that you’ll continue to love and care for them, and that this baby will go home with another family.
• Allow for questions and discussion. Your child may have questions or concerns as they process the idea of surrogacy. Encourage them to ask you any questions about surrogacy and express their feelings as you explain being a surrogate to your child.

Keep in mind that this won’t be a one-time conversation. Instead, it will be an ongoing dialogue between both of you that will provide reassurance and likely help you grow even closer.

Be sure to keep your child involved in the surrogacy process

In addition to having regular conversations about surrogacy with your child, you’ll also want to involve them in the process. Involvement can take a variety of forms, but here are a few common examples.

• Let your child pick out a toy for the baby.
• Read books about surrogacy with your child.
• Show your child pictures of the intended parents.
• Meet with the intended parents if everyone is comfortable with the idea.
• Encourage your child to write letters or draw pictures for the baby and intended parents.
• Teach your child how to answer questions about surrogacy.

By taking time to explain being a surrogate to your child and answering their questions about surrogacy, you can help your child feel comfortable with and excited about the process.

Contact us if you would like to learn more about becoming a surrogate or expanding your family using this beautiful family-building option.